50/50

How will you react when your life is on good side, you have a good job, a person with whom you are in a relationship and everything is perfectly fine, and the next day you woke up, the doctor told you that you have cancer and the odds of living is 50/50?

Inspired by a true story, 50/50 is an original story about friendship, love, survival and finding humor in unlikely places – drawing its emotional core from the writer’s own experience with cancer and reminding us that friendship and love, no matter what bizarre turns they take, are the greatest healers.

Watching this movie makes me realize how fragile the difference is between being here one day and gone the next. It does such a fine job capturing the realness of the downs of something so dire as cancer as it also relays the humor and silliness of the everyday ups (like getting a new dog and finding a new friendship).  The not so everyday and the everyday live in the same realm after all.

I especially like the end of the movie when Katie asks, “What now?”. That pretty well sums up the theme of this amazing little gem. You know, like maybe when you’re trying to decide whether or not to get in or out of that relationship, or job, or city, or apartment, and you do assume that something will follow…well then compare it with the experience of 27 year old Adam (played skillfully by Joseph Gordon-Levitt ❤) who has to contemplate a world where there might be nothing coming after “what now.” Really an inconceivable state of affairs to most people, certainly to a twenty-something…like me…. :p

 

Letting go

I’ve learned that things change, people change, and it doesn’t mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means accepting that some things weren’t meant to be… source unknown

Run Irene…RUN!

“What were you thinking Irene!?” – Ayin

That was my friend’s first comment when I told her that I’m going to run a full marathon – 42.195 km at the end of the year. Hahaa..rather amusing to me, yes 🙂 To be frank to her, I don’t even know how I am going to make it too. I am totally a beginning runner! Never in my point of life have I run further than 10k, let alone half marathon and look where I caught myself now, breaking my leg (NOT literally please..) to finish a FULL marathon. Ouch! When I signed up for the race, I don’t have a single agenda to run, I don’t know the appropriate clothes or shoes to wear, I have no idea what the diet and nutritions for runners are. I am a newbie!!!

Yet…I still signed up. Am I crazy or what? 😀

I know I have no experience of running marathon at all…BUT I have this very strong will to finish the race (sort of fulfilling a long-delayed goal). Often times people will ask me, what are my reasons to run the miles? And I will tell them, there’s not really a reason, it’s just the andrenalin when you start, and the feeling when you cross that finish line, and know that you are a winner no matter what place you got.

I came across an article that nicely articulates this. The excerpt below was originally published in the spring 2011 issue of The Trail magazine, a supplement publication I get from Runner’s World.  The article was written by Shannon Farar-Griefer, 49, who is a mother of three kids and started running in 1997.  Since then she has completed 25 ULTRAMARATHONS – which is running 100 miles straight through. Now to me – running 100 miles is crazy.  So I thought it might be worth reading her justification for such supreme lunacy.

Here’s the article in full:

“Running 100 miles is about the challenge of pushing your body and mind to places where someone who’s not a runner – and maybe even a marathoner- might thing unimaginable. It’s not about running all-out fast, like you might do in the other races; it’s about finding a consistent pace that makes sense for the terrain and keeping your legs moving, no matter how much they might want to stop. To me, it’s like a metaphor for life. You’ve got to take the bad with the good, because there are times you are going to hurt and feel horrible out there. It’s going to hurt – just like hitting the wall in the marathon, but in a 100-miler that hurt might last for two hours or four hours or 10 hours. At times, everything hurts, and you feel heavy and slow – your legs, your body and your brain. But that’s part of the challenge. It’s about having the passion to do it, making the commitment to train, and getting through all of those obstacles in the race. And that’s what life is all about. It’s a huge relief when you finish a 100-miler, but it’s also kind of sad because the incredible journey you just went through to get to that point is over. The point where you’re about five miles away and can ‘smell’ the finish line is almost better than the actual finish line itself.  You want that feeling to last forever, so you start thinking about your next race. A lot of runners remember their times – but I don’t keep track of that stuff or even the number of finishes. I just look at it like a blessing in life that I’m able to go out and run 100 miles.” Shannon Farar-Griefer, Ultramarathon Runner, 2011 The Trail Magazine, Rodale.

I can relate to that…

Come to think of it.. I have 4 months and a half to prepare and train for the big day. In fact, I already have the training schedule roll out. Day 1 training burned me a good 625 calories, 10k for 100 mins. Have to increase the pace but it’s not a bad start-up, I’ll say 🙂  If you have valuable tips for running a marathon, please do share with me yeah 🙂 Will share with you how it ends. Meanwhile, run Irene…RUN!!!

Update on 4th Dec 2011 : Mission accomplished!! I bag the finisher t-shirt and medal. For pushing my self to the limit…I’m proud of it! 🙂

20 things learned in late 20s

With an impending birthday on my mind, I spent some quiet time this evening reflecting on my recent past.  And I’ve come to realize that my 20’s taught me a lot about life.  So, I figured I’d share a few lessons I’ve learned along the way.

1. If you’re smiling right now, you’re doing something right.
2. It’s not so much what you say that counts, it’s how you make people feel.
3. The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re scared to make a mistake.
4. No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.
5. Freedom is the greatest gift.  Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom.
6. If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
7. It’s not about getting a chance, it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll rarely be 100% sure it will work.  But you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Sometimes you just have to go for it!
8. Complaining is like slapping yourself for slapping yourself.  It doesn’t solve the problem, it just hurts you more.
9. The one with nothing to hide is always the one left standing tall.
10. You can press forward long after you can’t.  It’s just a matter of wanting it bad enough.
11. There’s a big difference between knowing and doing.  Knowledge is basically useless without action.
12. In work and business, when they need you more than you need them, you have succeeded.
13. Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad.  It just depends on your perspective.
14. We are all weird.  And life is weird.  And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we call it love.
15. True friendship and true love do sustain the tests of distance and time.
16. You can’t change who you are.  You can only change what you know and how you apply this knowledge.
17. It is okay to be angry.  It is never okay to be cruel.
18. Even when you feel like you have nothing, someone else likely has far less.  Find them and help them.  You’ll see why.
19. Having a thousand credentials on the wall will not make you a decent human being.  But genuinely helping one person everyday will.
20. Remember, change happens for a reason.  Roll with it.  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

My wish ….

Post exam status

……glad that the exam’s over…… but the dread of waiting for the result can really, literally drives me nuts!

Being able to pass is really, good enough… just imagine a half-year worth of studying to fit into 3 papers, sounds pretty gruesome, doesn’t it? Yeah, chose this path, so I’m in no place to complain, but still…

500 days of Summer

McKenzie: [drunk] So do you have a boyfriend?

Summer: No.

McKenzie: Why not?

Summer: Because I don’t want one.

McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that.

Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent?

McKenzie: Are you a lesbian?

Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.

McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Summer: Really?

McKenzie: Nope.

Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you–

McKenzie: Break it down!

Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

McKenzie: You’re a dude. [to Tom] She’s a dude!

In the end Mckenzie and Summer hooked up and finally, she become someone else’s anything. Guess that she’s really the dude….

Good luck message for F8 candidate

Such an encouraging message from a beloved lecturer sent on the exam day 🙂

I heart her!!! ❤

———————————————————

Dear Irene

Today is the big day and I imagine you’re feeling a little scared!

But don’t be. You are obviously highly intelligent, committed and smart to have got this far and you should be confident in your ability to pass this paper. You know and understand much more than you think. Believe in yourself and you’ll be successful.

On the day of the exam, have a good and healthy breakfast. Don’t try to cram in too much at this stage. You already know a lot. Have an early lunch (remember – fish is good for the brains!) and get to the exam centre in plenty of time. Find a quiet spot to calm yourself and remind yourself how well you’re going to do in this exam.

When you open the exam paper:

• Since Q1 is the compulsory case study question, use the reading time to plan your answer to Q1. Read the requirements carefully, go through the scenario highlighting important points, and then jot down relevant points on the question paper. Before you start writing, read the requirements again to make sure you understood them correctly the first time.
• Be strict on time you spend on each question (marks x 1.8)
• Make sure you’re answering the question requirement
• Remember that a lot of audit is about application, and applying your knowledge in a common-sense and intelligent way. You have only got this far because you are intelligent, so feel confident that you can do this.

Please try to present your answer as neatly as possible, with a line between each point, to make it easy for the marker to read what you’ve written and give you the marks you deserve.

I have every confidence that you can pass this paper, will be finishing ACCA and graduating soon and will go on to have a successful, rewarding and well-paid career.

Although I’ll be in Australia by then I’ll be thinking of you on results day, so please e-mail me on connieacca@yahoo.com.sg to let me know how you get on.

Best wishes for the exam,
Connie

Eckhart Tolle – The Power of NOW

It took me almost 2 weeks to finally finished reading Eckhart Tolle’s popular book, The Power of NOW. Fiuh…

At first glance, this book seems like just another book  in a growing genre of books full of tips on how to be more mindful and awake in our daily life, but Tolle’s clear writing and the obvious depth of his experience and insight set it apart!!

While difficult to read and comprehend at times, The Power of NOW is without a doubt a remarkable book. Because spiritual enlightenment can be difficult to understand, using FAQ format throughout the book, Tolle weaves his words and focuses on answering questions from others throughout the book.  I found this very useful and it helped me to have a clearer understanding of his ideas.

The primary principle in the book revolves around the concept of “being fully present.”  Or, in other words, “living in the NOW.”

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Whereas before you dwelt in time and paid brief visits to the Now, have your dwelling place in the Now and pay brief visits to past and future when required to deal with the  practical aspects of your life situation.  Always say “yes” to the present moment.  What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is?  What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now?  Surrender to what is.  Say “yes to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you”

Tolle talks about how people are constantly thinking compulsively throughout their day-to-day lives.  That we are constantly preoccupied with looking both backwards and forwards. We focus on the past because this is what gives us our sense of identity, and what has led us to the life circumstances that we currently face. And we focus on the future because this is where all our dreams, hopes and fears will play out.

“Many people are so imprisoned in their minds that the beauty of nature does not really exist for them.  They might say, “What a pretty flower,” but that’s just a mechanical mental labeling.  Because they are not still, not present, they don’t truly see the flower, don’t feel its essence, its holiness — just as they don’t know themselves, don’t feel their own essence, their own holiness.”

Most of us are familiar with the mantra that ‘It is the journey that counts, not the destination‘, but Tolle puts this into a genuinely meaningful and practical context. By allowing our ‘mind self’ to be caught up in dreams of how our life will be better at some time in the future – if only we can win the lottery, get that better job or house, move to that other place, or find that special relationship, we yearn for external pleasures that, even if we gain them, will bring only temporary fulfilment – followed by a thirst for more, or an equal potential for emotional pain because things we have gained can just as easily be lost or taken away.

By contrast, he emphasises that real joy comes from within, from just ‘being’ in the Now, and from recognizing the simple beauty of all other forms, and our underlying unity with them. Tolle accepts that there is nothing wrong with planning for the future, or even hoping to build on or improve your life situation. But the trick is not to pin all your hopes on the future, and to obsess about it to the extent that you spend your whole life thinking about it and missing out on the Now, and just being. And you must be prepared for your plans to go wrong, or for the fact that success is nearly always balanced out by failure.

Moreover, you can concentrate on the Now by being totally engaged in the current activity you are performing as part of your plan for a better future. Give it your full attention, and perform it as something worthwhile in itself, with no thought for the desired outcome. This is the path of inner peace and balance.

………………………………………………………………

Another really interesting concept that Tolle talks about is “The Ego’s Search for Wholeness”

“People will often enter into a compulsive pursuit of ego-gratification and things to identify with in order to fill this hole they feel within.  So they strive after possessions, money, success, power, recognition, or a special relationship, basically so that they can feel better about themselves, feel more complete.  But, even when they attain all these things, they soon find that the hole is still there, that it is bottomless.”

“As long as the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease; you cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled.  Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external things.  It needs to be both defended and fed constantly.  The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications.  None of these is you.”

This part of the book completely made sense to me.  What Tolle is saying, is that nothing external can make you complete.  People spend their entire lives trying to ACHIEVE certain things — an expensive house, a lot of money, a beautiful girlfriend / a rich boyfriend — in hopes that they will finally find their happiness.  But, they’re only doing it to meet a certain NEED that they have or to fill up that emptiness inside of them.

The other segment of the quote from Tolle is how people use these external sources to define WHO THEY ARE and their IDENTITY.  But, if you base your sense of self on these external factors, you have no control.  What would happen if one day you lost your job, your spouse, or become old and lose your physical appearance?  What would happen to your confidence?

Those material things will always come and go… but it’s WHO YOU ARE is what you get to keep.

I kept adding post on so many different parts of the book, because I found the passages were so pure gold… 🙂

Oh….what’s more! He talks a bit about relationships which I also found interesting.

“If you cannot be at ease with yourself when you are alone, you will seek a relationship to cover up your unease.  You can be sure that the unease will then reappear in some other form within the relationship, and you will probably hold your partner responsible for it. All you really need to do is accept the moment fully.  You are then at ease in the here and now and at ease with yourself.”

Again, Tolle talks about how a relationship will not make you fulfilled and how most people jump into them due to insecurity and loneliness.  If you find yourself needy and longing for a companion, then I’d suggest making a commitment to yourself to be single for a certain period of time so that a relationship isn’t an option.  When you learn to become fulfilled and comfortable alone and with who you are, you will instantly become more attractive to everyone.  It’s because you’re already ABUNDANT emotionally.

The LAST idea that I will mention that Tolle talks about what holds people back from changing and transforming their lives.

“The mind, conditioned as it is by the past, always seeks to re-create what it knows and is familiar with.  Even if it is painful, at least it is familiar.  The mind always adheres to the known.  The unknown is dangerous because it has no control over it.  That’s why the mind dislikes and ignores the present moment.”

I think this is one of the primary reasons why people will never change or become the best they can be.  This is what limits them from extreme growth and the ability to step outside their comfort zone..

OK, I’m going to end things here, so that this post doesn’t get too long and out of control (or it does already? :p)

Of course no summary like this can do any sort of justice to the full power of Tolle’s message, especially the eloquence and strength of his words, and the fact that he writes in such a way that the real underlying message is received more on an intuitive level than a conscious one. So this should act as an introduction to urge YOU to read “The Power of NOW” in full.  Simply click here to download “The Power of NOW” Audio Book torrent or here to download “The Power of Now” E-Book.

IT IS a remarkable book.  No wonder Oprah raves about him!

ps. Especially THANKS to my admirable boss for recommending this marvelous book!

Life is damn unfair..

especially dedicated to R***

For no matter how you look at it, life is NOT fair. It never was, still isn’t and never will be.

Even Bill Gates said so: Life is not fair, get used to it!

Life is all about survival. And survival is all about competition. Life is a competition by design and we were not all created with an equal opportunity to compete in the first place.

In life, some people were born with a rotten Poker hand like this.

I’ve come to the realization that life is like a game of Poker. You were either born with a really good hand, born with just enough to possibly bluff your way to the winnings, or born with a terrible hand thus having to fold early. While the game of Poker is intrinsically unfair, at least you get a second round.

The game of life, however, is not so forgiving..

Because of genetics, some people will be better at that than others – and that is the frightening reality. When you consider all the people in the world, you have to consider not only genetics, but the environment that factors into what makes these people the way they are. Because of these two factors, there will be people in the world that are genetically predisposed to having a really hard time at life, like when:

When you weren’t born fair skinned

Bob Marley said it – Black people seem to have enslaved their own minds.

There is this massive cultural stigma that attached to being dark skinned. The harsh reality is that even well meaning dark skinned people have to either jump through hoops to prove their worth to the people who have already doomed them to failure, or be good at playing football (or other sport) to win over the respect of the rest of the world. Anyway you look at it, black people people are damned one way or another. Life’s not fair.

When you weren’t born genius

Do you recognize these men? Not one of them has an MBA.

Being educated does not correlate with being smart. There are millions of people in the world who have the highest levels of education and are broke. Then again, there is a far smaller number of people who have a natural talent for making money who are comparatively uneducated. They were born with a gift, which you don’t have it, yet! I know that wasn’t pleasant to hear, but life’s not fair.

When you weren’t born beautiful

Pretty people were born lucky. That is the hard cold truth. People like pretty people even when they’re rotten. Unattractive folks by comparison seem to have more natural enemies, especially if they don’t have a sweet personality or a brilliant mind, or some other asset to balance out the aesthetic deficit.

Beautiful people are talented just by being beautiful. In some cases they can make it in life just for having a pretty face. People tend to forgive the fact that their other assets aren’t so great when looking at an incidence of genetic poetry. It is only a pity that such things only last while they’re young.

If you weren’t born beautiful however, then it is hoped that there is some other talent hidden away in your DNA that will save your soul. The sad thing is that many people were born in this position and have ultimately lived a relatively meaningless life and have died having contributed nothing to humanity other than statistics. See, life’s not fair..

When you weren’t born talented

There is a select, very small set of human beings that were born with remarkable talent. They make up a very tiny percentage of the human population and are obviously at the far end of the Bell Curve of human intellect and genius. Their very existence is proof that inequality is real and again, life’s not fair.

When you weren’t born rich

Being born poor is one thing. Being born poor with positively no means of escape is a horrifying realization that only turns the people afflicted to what is often the only available source of escape: Evil. And thus how poverty becomes a crime. Don’t blame them too much. Life’s just not fair for them.

Umm…. Has it seep into your sub-conscious?

Get used to it! Life is damn unfair…. Nobody ever said that life would be fair. We were never promised a fair life. We were never promised a great life. In fact we were never promised anything at all.

Life isn’t fair, life just is.

As I am told by the world, when ‘life just is’ how ‘it is’, life gives you another two choices:

1. Accept it

or

2. Fight it

Or said another way, you can be happy or you can be miserable. Because in order to be happy-you must accept, for the moment, exactly the way life is and exactly the way life isn’t. Give up the fight, and stop wishing it were some other way. And in the space of acceptance, inside of surrender to what is, look another way and be grateful.

Yeah…anyway, I’m grateful for the green trees and blue skies. Grateful for sharing laughter with family, friends, and colleagues. Grateful for all the experiences that have made me into the kind of person I am today, and for people who are journeying with me….

Let’s end it here. Life is damn unfair, but be happy anyway…

Carpe Diem

I thought I finally received a break,
only to see the sun fall.
Stomach aching and curling,
as morning comes without notice.

But then the owls hooted
The coyotes barked
The rain came pouring
The moon eclipsed
The night was blackened
I wished it was day